It is sad that "9/11" has become more than just a date. It has become a description of a gut-wrenching attack on a community. An attack meant to stop the cogs, the wheels, the motors, the heart of a community.
In writing what I'm about to write, I do not mean to demean what happened in NYC on 9/11/01. I hope and pray to God that an attack on innocent citizens never happens at that level again anywhere in the world. There are innocent people in every country on this globe, and they should never EVER be murdered simply because of where they choose or not choose to live.
I've had the unfortunate experience to be in three communities during their "9/11s". I wish the events had never happened, but I learned from each.
1. Every American was affected by what happened on 9/11/01. For me, I was waking up in bed during my first full month of law school at the University of Minnesota. I turned my TV on about 15 seconds before the second plan hit the second tower. I remember being very confused about what I was watching. I truly thought I was watching some action/horror/suspense movie on TBS. Then I remember seeing Katie Couric on the Today Show almost coming unglued on the screen. My country was under attack. I remember showering quickly and walking over to the law school across the street. Students were gathered in the commons where they had put a large screen TV. We were all assured that the third-year students that had traveled to NYC for interviews IN the towers were safe. The interviews had been scheduled for later that morning.
Classes were cancelled. I returned home because I had nowhere else to go. Then I frantically started calling all my friends that lived in the NYC area. I knew...or felt...that they were okay, but I needed to hear their voices. I remember the cell phone service was still off in NYC. I remember my friend Jeremy Howard, a fellow 1L at Minnesota, calling me to make sure I was okay. None of us knew each other very well at that point. Him calling me, such a small gesture of kindness, sealed the deal on him being a class act.
I remember that I couldn't stop watching the TV and crying. All these victim pictures popping up on the screen. I couldn't stop thinking that they each had families...families that were frantically trying to call them.
I remember the anger that settled in later in the day when I realized that there were people in this world celebrating this attack. How can one ever celebrate the murder of innocent people? Some people might say, "but did you celebrate the execution of bin Laden?" Yes...yes I was happy when that happened. For he was not innocent. He was the mastermind in killing so many innocent people. His leadership and message has continued to kill many other people. He has singlehandedly ruined the image and perception of a major international religion. He did not deserve to live.
I remember finding out two people I graduated with from Vanderbilt lost their lives.
I remember my grandmother calling me that afternoon and demanding that I not go to the Mall of America. She was worried that other landmarks around the country were going to be attacked and that was the one she thought of in Minnesota. It made me laugh, but then it terrified me.
But then...through all the darkness came the light. In the months and years to follow 9/11, I watched in amazement as flags appeared on every home, U.S.A. appeared on every shirt, jacket, vehicle. Parades popped up in towns big and small. Thank you was extended to law enforcement, military and community leaders. A gritty resolve settled in...We Will Overcome This. And overcome it we did.
This country is forever changed because of 9/11. The world is forever changed...but I believe we are stronger.
2. In my third year of law school, I spent the first semester living in Uppsala, Sweden, where I attended Uppsala University studying Comparative Law. I adored living there. I was fascinated learning about the laws and Constitutions of other countries. I sat in a class with a woman whose own country had been under three forms of leadership...ranging from dictatorship to democracy. Fascinating.
Then, on September 10, 2003, Sweden's Foreign Minister, Anna Lindh, was stabbed as she was shopping in Downtown Stockholm. Sadly, she passed away on September 11, 2003. It sent that country into a tailspin. Her assassination occurred soon before a vote on whether Sweden would join the European Union. There were strong feelings on both sides of that vote. At first, I was confused as to how one murder could affect a community on such a large scale. Then I realized...this was their 9/11. In Sweden, the leaders of the nation could shop without bodyguards. Prior to that, the last assassination in that country was Prime Minister Olof Palme, who was murdered in 1986.
I remember sitting in class in the week that followed, discussing what had happened there and why one death could affect a society in such a painful manner. It was a butterfly effect. The same questions came up that were asked in my country two years prior: Has life forever changed? Is it not as safe as I thought? Do I have to worry about what happened? and WHY?
Our conversation took a turn back to the events of 9/11 in NYC. For the first time, I saw how far the attack had stretched. There weren't just Americans in those buildings and there were law students who had also lost friends and family that day. There were also people in the room hurt by the aftermath and how America had to react. One student, a woman from Germany, talked through tears about how her father was turned away from one of the American bases in Germany after having worked there as a civil servant for years. The Americans were on high alert and she said "I guess that means if you're not American, you are not important." We ended up having a great conversation about high alert and how only essential workers needed to be working. Nobody had taken the time to explain that to the community around the base.
And dialogue opened up...we all talked about our feelings about Lindh's assassination and 9/11. There were handshakes and hugs. A bunch of law students...suddenly turning into representatives of their own countries, explaining to other countries how they felt, how they wished things were different, and how they propose we make things better. It turned into one of the most deep and moving events I have ever had the honor to attend.
And finally...
3. On August 2, 2011, the community of Rapid City, South Dakota was attacked by a lone gunman in North Rapid City. Heroes stopped him. In a short period of time, the gunman attacked Officers Nick Armstrong, Tim Doyle and J. Ryan McCandless. In cold blood, he murdered Nick and Ryan. He managed to shoot Tim, who survived.
My heart continues to break open when I think about my friends who have died. I still expect to see Ryan briskly walk into my office to make fun of me, or ask which "attorney doesn't know the law and filed a motion to suppress". You may laugh at that, but I never lost a suppression hearing with Ryan on the stand. He knew his stuff. I still expect to see Nick bouncing down the hallway like a Labrador puppy...so excited to go to work in the community where he grew up.
But I know they won't be here, and that breaks my heart.
8/2/11 is my home community's 9/11. It has forever changed our community. To get through the grief, my husband and I started looking at the good things that came of that day...not to say that we're glad the day happened...far from it...but:
1. I live in an amazing town. A town where defense attorneys cried alongside with us...where those same attorneys told me that our law enforcement treated their clients better than they even would at times. A town that helps its own through times of grief.
2. That Nick Armstrong told the world before his passing that organ donation was important to him. Because of his convictions, he saved lives after his passed. Hero
3. That two significant others of officers, Janet and Holly, started with an idea for t-shirts that has blossomed into an entire community wearing t-shirts that say "Heroes Wear Blue". They also wear sassy dresses and boots and come up with t-shirt ideas :) Heroes
4. That this community respects its law enforcement officers and its military members. Heroes
5. That Tim Doyle, still with his jaw wired shut, confidently walked out of the Rapid City Regional Hospital a week after the attack and soon returned back to work as a Liason Officer at a local high school. He has not shown fear or hesitation. Hero
5. That our friends died and were wounded fighting for the safety of this community. I cried tears of grief and pride when I found out Ryan went at the suspect after being shot. Ryan stopped this man from hurting anybody else in the community. He did not run. He did not hide behind his vehicle. He ended the attack. He died for my community. For a true officer never runs from the shots, but runs towards them so they don't hit anybody else. Hero
Rapid City's pain of our 9/11 is still fresh, but we now embrace the good that is pulsating through the veins of this community. I wish it hadn't taken cold-blooded murder for the community to show its support, but we cannot change the past. We can mold the future, however.
I have never been more proud to be from Rapid City than I have in the last few weeks.
So on this 10 year anniversary of 9/11, I mourn the loss of these communities, but I focus on the strength around me. I have learned from each event. To this day, I wish none of them have ever happened, but I must learn from them and I must find the silver lining.
Thank you to all first responders, military members and community leaders that continue to put on their badges of honor, their uniforms and their suits. I am honored to live in a community that you protect locally, statewide, nationally and internationally.
And that's all I have to say about that.
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